I NEED: a little more self-discipline for the small things.

For example, although I normally attend a yoga class Wednesday nights at 8, I chose to watch movies and eat sour gummy worms to maintain my social prowess instead.

When so many of my New Year’s resolutions revolve around taking time out for myself, like taking time to go to the gym, taking time to live less electronically, taking time to map out my financial plan & the whole purpose of this blog:  taking time to reevaluate and recognize what I want/need/love in life (…notice a trend?), I’m not really allotting the time necessary to make these improvements. I simply don’t have the discipline to say, “No, sorry I have plans to organize my desk tonight.”

I’m not saying organizing my desk is my top priority. Really, it sounds like something easy to back out of without repercussions. (This is where the “for the small things” comes into play.) If I don’t do that tonight, it will either get pushed back and back or it will simply get ignored. So, if one of my goals is to figure out a budget, then I need to go through those bills and receipts and organize them! I can’t get my one big goal completed without taking the right steps.

And I’m not saying this year is about living in a cave either, but if I already have an “after-work agenda,” while do I continue to fail to check things off my to-do lists? Lack of self-discipline. This weekend, I am promising to really take time out to map out how I see the rest of my year going, so then I can move on to looking farther forward. Perhaps I’ll give myself some motivation? (I’ll get back to you about how that goes…maybe I’ll realize some more things to add to my list.)

I think this is the first intangible item on my list that I need. Maybe another thing I need is to focus more on the intangibles…

I LOVE: that ‘I feel so accomplished’ feeling.

You know? That feeling you get after you pay all your bills or check the last thing off your to-do list. It’s that feeling you get on your day off once you actually have the day off, because you don’t have anything else to stress and worry about.

Sure, you get it other times (getting a big promotion, fitting into your skinny jeans, etc.) But sometimes, it’s that sense of relief from getting the basics done that feels the best.

I NEED: competition.

After my typical family Thanksgiving Day board game, I realized what I enjoy a lot. Winning. In college, I had the relationship, the grades, etc etc. It didn’t always come easily. I had to compete for it.

I have played about 10 years of competitive soccer, ran cross country, studied for hours for honor roll grades, done everything to be the ideal girlfriend…all to compete with someone for something.

At the moment, I’m competing to be the top bra specialist, the best girl, the best job candidate, the best daughter and the best friend.

Let’s not lie. We all want to be the best, even if it’s in an unspoken competition. Without it, I’d be afraid of settling for less than my personal best.

Bring it on.

I WANT: better running headphones.

If I’m really going to get serious about training to run long distance again, then I’m definitely going to need better headphones. Right now I’m rocking the standard Apple headphones, and they just don’t cut it. They constantly need to be repositioned and adjusted while I’m running & it’s really distracting.

I’m pretty particular about my headphones though. I definitely prefer an in-ear style. I just need to find a brand that stays in the ear better, especially while running.

Problem: I have no idea how to look for them or where to look. I’m taking any/all suggestions.

I WANT: an iPhone 4S.

For those of you who don’t know, this past July my beautiful iPhone 4 & brand new 13″ MacBook Pro among other valuables were stolen from my house before moving back home. So, needless to say, my $10 GoPhone I’ve been using since August just isn’t cutting it anymore.

I almost want to make this an “I NEED” post, because that’s almost a reality at this point. First of all, I showed up to a meeting on Tuesday that was cancelled through email 3 hours before the scheduled time. However, since I don’t get on my mom’s ancient HP laptop more than necessary, I hadn’t checked my email since noon. Second, my social media skills are dwindling. Um, hello…that’s the field I’d ideally like to work in. (Not a very good impression on potential employers.) Last, well…I just want one. Who doesn’t? I mean, look at it:

Perks:
No more teasing; receiving and being able to actually see picture text messages; Siri (enough said); mobile Internet access; an app to keep me from texting ex-boyfriends; etc.

So, tomorrow I’m headed to Verizon with my mom & sister. Keep your fingers crossed very tight ladies & gents! My wonderful sister is passing along her upgrade so I can finally be a big girl again with a big girl phone. I’ll report back (hopefully from my new gem) on how it goes.

UPDATE: Currently posting from my new beauty! The best part? I ordered it last Friday, it wasn’t supposed to ship until the 11th and I already have it in my hands.

I LOVE: a good yoga class

As we began our relaxation in last night’s yoga class, Carolyn (the instructor) started to tell us what to concentrate on throughout our practice. Normally she comes in with a message to focus on, but last night she told us to dedicate it to someone. Usually when this happens, I get really disappointed & freeze up. It sounds petty, but without something to channel I walk away less affected. So, I dedicated my practice to myself. We spent the night doing sun salutes, lotus flowers & cranes all while channeling strength, love and passion to the person we dedicated the night to, and I walked away feeling it.

As we ended savasana (how we end every class, relaxing every muscle in the body & allowing our breath to lead us into meditation), we came to a seated position, bowed our heads with our hands in front of our hearts & said “Let all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering. Namaste.” I wished for my self to be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.

I walked out of class floating on a cloud, but grounded and centered. I felt lighter, like I had left something behind in that room. It’s amazing what a good yoga class can do.

Namaste.